


You Just Never Saw It

by Toni_Lynne



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-25 02:25:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12026145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toni_Lynne/pseuds/Toni_Lynne





	You Just Never Saw It

_He looks around the room_  
Innocently overlooks the truth  
Shouldn’t a light go on?  
Doesn’t he know that I’ve had him memorized for so long?  
He sees everything black and white  
Never let nobody see him cry  
I don’t let nobody see me wishing he was mine

 

“Y/N, are you okay?” Cas asked, interrupting the conversation between Dean and Balthazar.

“I’m fine Cas,” you mumbled. “Just tired.”

“Anyways,” Balthazar said with a drawn out tone of annoyance in his voice from being interrupted. “We should start in that building.”

“Okay.  Let’s gear up,” Dean stated, reaching into Baby’s trunk. You looked around the deserted mental hospital you were standing in front of. A complex of four crumbling brick buildings that had been closed for a few decades.  Twenty years of homeless people, kids, and vandals in and out of these old rooms and none of them knew that four of the most powerful weapons ever stolen from heaven’s arsenal were there the entire time. 

You nodded, taking the weapon he handed you.  Balthazar was standing behind you with Cas and you wondered, not for the first time, how he was so clueless as to how you felt.  You had been in love with the angel for years but he never seemed to notice.  If anything he seemed annoyed by your presence most of the time.

“So split up into two groups.  Cas and I will check the third floor.   Balthazar, Y/N and Sam head to the basement,” Dean directed.

* * *

 

Are you sure you are okay?” Sam asked as the three of you made your way down into the tunnels that ran under the buildings.

You saw Balthazar studying the graffiti on the walls out of the corner of your eye, not paying attention to the conversation between you and Sam. A reminder that you didn’t mean anything to him. “I’m fine Sam.  I just have a headache.”

You almost jumped in surprise when Balthazar’s warm hand reached over to cup your head, his grace numbing the painful sensation in your skull. 

“Thank you,” you whispered.

He nodded before taking a few steps forward to take the lead from Sam.

You wondered what that meant, that he was paying attention to what you said even when he acted like he wasn’t.  With a sigh you realized how tiring it was. Always watching him for some sign that he could feel for you what you felt for him.  Wondering what his reaction would be if he knew that you had memorized everything about him.  The color of his hair, the lines around his eyes, the way he would laugh at pop culture humor references Cas didn’t understand.  The biting sarcasm that he used to hide most of his emotions.

“Y/N, come on, you need to keep up with us,” Sam said, stopping to wait for you to catch up.

You realized you had been distracted and shook your head.  You had a job to do and you needed to do it.

* * *

 

“Sam?” you cried out, your hands extended in the dark.  You still weren’t sure what had happened.  Balthazar had found the weapon, what appeared to be a dirty rock, and handed it to Sam to wrap up and place in the tote bag for transporting.  But the moment the angel let go of the rock Sam screamed and the rock fell from his hand, exploding into the brightest light you had ever seen.

You remembered flying backwards and hitting something hard and then nothing until you just woke up.  The room was pitch black, and your eyes were still sore from the brilliant light.  You couldn’t see or hear a thing. “Sam!”

Suddenly a hand grabbed yours just before you were pulled into a warm embrace.   You could smell his unique scent right away and you clung to Balthazar’s shirt.  “Where’s Sam?” you asked.

“I don’t know,” he said, his hands running over your face and hair. “Are you hurt?”

“I don’t think so.  I just can’t see anything. What happened?”

The weapon must have been rigged to self-destruct if a human touched it.  I can sense Sam’s soul, he’s alive, I just can’t track it. The weapon damaged my grace.  I’ve warned Cas through Angel Radio and they are on their way down,” he explained.

“Sam!” you called, pulling away from Balthazar and starting to walk off, your hands in front of you.

He wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you back against him. “What are you doing?”

“If Sam’s hurt we can’t just leave him until more people come to help. What if he’s dying?” you said, struggling to break his hold.

“I will not let you wonder off and get hurt. We don’t know if that blast created a hole or knocked part of the building down.  Stop struggling,” Balthazar hissed.

“Let me go!” you demanded. “Why would you care if I got hurt?  I need to find Sam.”

“Will you stop?! You can struggle all day but you won’t break my grip. We can look for him together.”

You realized he was right, you wouldn’t be able to escape his embrace.   “Fine. Then let’s start looking.”

Balthazar took the lead, holding your hand and keeping you behind his body as you walked the room, calling for Sam.  It wasn’t long after you started looking that Dean and Cas showed up.  Cas was able to use his grace to find Sam, who had fallen through a hole in the floor and was in an underground furnace room.   After Cas healed him, you and Dean helped him out to the Impala, letting the angels finish the hunt for the weapons on their own.

The drive back to the bunker was a quiet one, the three of you lost in thought.

* * *

 

After eating and taking a shower, you grabbed your clean laundry and shuffled back to your bedroom, wanting to put the day behind you.  Your headache had come back strong and your eyes still hurt from the initial blast of the weapon. 

Opening your door, you were shocked to see Balthazar standing between your bed and the desk leafing through one of your research books.

“What are you doing here? Sam and Dean are in the library if you need them.”

“I’m here to talk to you,” he replied, shutting the book and turning to look at you. “Why did you say I wouldn’t care?”

“What are you talking about?” you asked, sitting the laundry basket down.

“In the basement. You said I wouldn’t care if you got hurt.  Why would you think that?”

You felt your face burn and you turned, putting your back to him as you began folding your clothes.  “I know you don’t like me. Why would it matter to you if I got hurt?”

He made an odd noise and when you looked over your shoulder you saw him pulling his hand through his blonde hair. “You think I don’t like you?”

“Well yeah,” you said. “And it’s fine. Most angels don’t think humans have any value, I know Cas is rare.”

He crossed the room in two steps, his hands grasping your arms and forcing you to drop the shirt you were folding on the floor. “You are the most valuable human I’ve ever met,” he said.

“But you avoid me.”

Balthazar’s laugh sounded strained. “You really have no idea, do you? I’m in love with you woman. I avoid you because it’s almost impossible to be around you and keep how I feel hidden.”

You stared up at him in shock. “But….I don’t….. why would you keep it hidden?”

“Because I understand you do not return my feelings and I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“Don’t return your feelings? You ass!” you yelled. “I’ve been in love with you since the moment I met you.  You just never saw it.”

Balthazar opened his mouth to say something, but he quickly changed his mind and closed it, pulling you to his lips instead.  You kissed him back, your hands clutching his shirt.

When he pulled away he brushed a kiss on the tip of your nose before pulling you to his chest. “I’m not an ass.”

 


End file.
